My nephew, Jonathan, was at my house on Saturday and we had this conversation.
Jonathan: Aunt Carla, where are your kids?
Carla: I don’t have any kids.
Jonathan: Then why do you have toys?
Carla: Those toys are for you when you come to visit me.
Jonathan: Well, where is your husband?
Carla: I’m not married, Jonathan.
Jonathan: But where is he?
Carla: I don’t know…but maybe if we both start looking really hard for him, we can find him?
Jonathan: (looking really confused) But why aren’t you married?
Carla: Sometimes some people just aren’t married. (added under my breath) You aren’t married either….stop being so judgmental!
Isn’t he a charmer? He really is. Most of the older nieces and nephews have had this conversation with me. I guess I should just be glad they wonder why I’m not married….it would be worse if they just came up, pointed at my face or thighs and said “You should get that fixed.”
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Why I don't go to dances...
I know, I know….I don’t blog enough…and this time I’m not even going to pretend I intend to do better. But, the reason I haven’t blogged recently is that I have been too busy attempting to be more social (this isn’t really true…I haven’t blogged because I’m lazy). A good friend convinced me a few weeks ago that I need to start dating more and that the key to making that happen is “Exposure, exposure, exposure”.
Now, her words could be taken in a couple different ways….I’ve decided to interpret them as instructions to get out into society more and not to wear more revealing clothes. Rest assured…if the first doesn’t work….I may resort to the later.
So, a couple weekends ago there was a singles (31-45) conference in Lehi. I had to work during the day, but I committed myself to going to the dance on Saturday night. I will never forget the experience.
First off, we were carded. Had to prove we were in the right age range.
Then, they played a whole bunch of that new fangled hip-hop music J. I don’t really mind hip-hop (it does remind me of how terrible I was in my community education hip-hop class….but whatever). My complaint was that here we are….older singles and they didn’t play many of the “stake dance” songs I have such fond memories of...just seems like it would have been a good idea.
The really great part of the evening was when they turned all the lights on and made all the men stand in a big circle with all the women inside that circle in a circle of their own. What followed was basically speed dating for a 10-15 minutes. It wasn’t so bad…whatever…but then they made us do the hokey pokey.
Yes, you read right….standing there, facing each other, we (a group of desperate 31-45 year olds who want nothing more than to maintain their self-respect in a difficult situation) were asked to put our “rear ends in, out, and shake them all about”.
So, each of us was faced with a decision….you are either a bad sport and refuse to do it….or you are an idiot for actually doing it.
I have promised myself not to let this experience keep me from continued efforts to get out there and meet people….so no worries…but really!
My pleas goes out:
· Please don’t TRY to humiliate the poor singles in the world!
· And please recognize the RULE that no one should have to do the hokey pokey without a child under the age of 12 or roller skates present….it’s just not cool!
Now, her words could be taken in a couple different ways….I’ve decided to interpret them as instructions to get out into society more and not to wear more revealing clothes. Rest assured…if the first doesn’t work….I may resort to the later.
So, a couple weekends ago there was a singles (31-45) conference in Lehi. I had to work during the day, but I committed myself to going to the dance on Saturday night. I will never forget the experience.
First off, we were carded. Had to prove we were in the right age range.
Then, they played a whole bunch of that new fangled hip-hop music J. I don’t really mind hip-hop (it does remind me of how terrible I was in my community education hip-hop class….but whatever). My complaint was that here we are….older singles and they didn’t play many of the “stake dance” songs I have such fond memories of...just seems like it would have been a good idea.
The really great part of the evening was when they turned all the lights on and made all the men stand in a big circle with all the women inside that circle in a circle of their own. What followed was basically speed dating for a 10-15 minutes. It wasn’t so bad…whatever…but then they made us do the hokey pokey.
Yes, you read right….standing there, facing each other, we (a group of desperate 31-45 year olds who want nothing more than to maintain their self-respect in a difficult situation) were asked to put our “rear ends in, out, and shake them all about”.
So, each of us was faced with a decision….you are either a bad sport and refuse to do it….or you are an idiot for actually doing it.
I have promised myself not to let this experience keep me from continued efforts to get out there and meet people….so no worries…but really!
My pleas goes out:
· Please don’t TRY to humiliate the poor singles in the world!
· And please recognize the RULE that no one should have to do the hokey pokey without a child under the age of 12 or roller skates present….it’s just not cool!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Cruising Alaska!!
Here is the story of my Alaskan cruise. This was my first cruising experience and I’m going to admit I was a little nervous at the outset. I wasn’t really sure what to expect and I was worried about gaining 15 pounds during the week since I do have a serious problem saying no to food that is placed in front of me. Also, since it was just Stacey and I, I was a bit anxious about my ability to entertain her and make sure she had a good time as well.
Luckily most of my worries were unnecessary. I did eat a lot, but exercised almost every day and I’d like to think that kept the weight gain to a minimum. And Stacey was great about not needing to be entertained, plus we met some really great people throughout the cruise, which helped break up the monotony my constant presence can create.
So, here we go:
Day 1 – Disembarkation
I am a horrible packer and I can never seem to motivate myself to pack the night before a trip. (I blame this on my sister Cynthia because I remember her first trip to Girls Camp…..She packed 4 months early and when she got back she had miraculously found her journal, her scriptures and some other things she had been unable to locate for 4 months.) We left at 9:00, which meant I got up at 5:00(ish) to pack everything (and by everything I mean practically everything I own…because you never know what you will need on a trip!)
We loaded everything into the car and lovely Mary Ann took us to the airport. At check-in I found that my suitcase was overweight (shocking…I know) but we shuffled some books and stuff around and only annoyed a handful of people with our delays. Stacey tried to sneak a bottle of water onto the airplane and got detained by airport security. But we eventually boarded our plane and were off to Seattle.
My amazing friend Michelle came to pick us up (thanks Dixon for watching the kids). We went for a quick lunch and then headed for Pier 91 and Holland America’s ship The Zaandam. During our loading process there was a brief moment of passport trauma (Stacey had renewed hers but the security person didn’t like how it was done….and I had forgotten to sign mine). Then we were invited to board the good ship and find our stateroom.
We had picked a room with a window…which I was very grateful for. We went on a quick tour of the place. Found the dining areas, gym, lounges, and casino…all very important (except maybe the casino). We decided to not go to the formal dinner that first night and in stead went to the Lido buffet. The food was good and plentiful.
When we returned to our room, we started watching “Lost in Austen”. Stacey made it about 20 minutes and was out cold. (It was 7:00 at night….so you can understand her exhaustion.) I was reading the new Sookie Stackhouse novel (it was only okay…but it had some great Erik parts).
This is about the time that I discovered that despite my careful packing, there was one thing I did forget….a watch. So pretty much the most common sentence heard the entire week was “what time is it?” and most of the time we had to ask someone else.
Anyway, Stacey never really regained consciousness. She would wake up every once in a while and say something slightly rude. Once I had gotten up to look out the window and she rolled over and told me to stop looking at her. Oh…and then I ordered some room service since we had talked about doing that…ordering some cheese and crackers and chocolate chip cookies. So, I’m ordering that and decide to get a sandwich as well, Stacey makes no movement until I hang up and she says “What if I had wanted something?” and rolled over. Later when she woke up to get ready for bed, she didn’t remember any of it. Evidently she talks in her sleep ☺.
Luckily most of my worries were unnecessary. I did eat a lot, but exercised almost every day and I’d like to think that kept the weight gain to a minimum. And Stacey was great about not needing to be entertained, plus we met some really great people throughout the cruise, which helped break up the monotony my constant presence can create.
So, here we go:
Day 1 – Disembarkation
I am a horrible packer and I can never seem to motivate myself to pack the night before a trip. (I blame this on my sister Cynthia because I remember her first trip to Girls Camp…..She packed 4 months early and when she got back she had miraculously found her journal, her scriptures and some other things she had been unable to locate for 4 months.) We left at 9:00, which meant I got up at 5:00(ish) to pack everything (and by everything I mean practically everything I own…because you never know what you will need on a trip!)
We loaded everything into the car and lovely Mary Ann took us to the airport. At check-in I found that my suitcase was overweight (shocking…I know) but we shuffled some books and stuff around and only annoyed a handful of people with our delays. Stacey tried to sneak a bottle of water onto the airplane and got detained by airport security. But we eventually boarded our plane and were off to Seattle.
My amazing friend Michelle came to pick us up (thanks Dixon for watching the kids). We went for a quick lunch and then headed for Pier 91 and Holland America’s ship The Zaandam. During our loading process there was a brief moment of passport trauma (Stacey had renewed hers but the security person didn’t like how it was done….and I had forgotten to sign mine). Then we were invited to board the good ship and find our stateroom.
We had picked a room with a window…which I was very grateful for. We went on a quick tour of the place. Found the dining areas, gym, lounges, and casino…all very important (except maybe the casino). We decided to not go to the formal dinner that first night and in stead went to the Lido buffet. The food was good and plentiful.
When we returned to our room, we started watching “Lost in Austen”. Stacey made it about 20 minutes and was out cold. (It was 7:00 at night….so you can understand her exhaustion.) I was reading the new Sookie Stackhouse novel (it was only okay…but it had some great Erik parts).
This is about the time that I discovered that despite my careful packing, there was one thing I did forget….a watch. So pretty much the most common sentence heard the entire week was “what time is it?” and most of the time we had to ask someone else.
Anyway, Stacey never really regained consciousness. She would wake up every once in a while and say something slightly rude. Once I had gotten up to look out the window and she rolled over and told me to stop looking at her. Oh…and then I ordered some room service since we had talked about doing that…ordering some cheese and crackers and chocolate chip cookies. So, I’m ordering that and decide to get a sandwich as well, Stacey makes no movement until I hang up and she says “What if I had wanted something?” and rolled over. Later when she woke up to get ready for bed, she didn’t remember any of it. Evidently she talks in her sleep ☺.
Day 2 – At Sea
Saturday I got up early and went to the gym. This was the first morning Stacey and I realized we should never share a room. I can’t sleep in after 7:00 (at the latest) and she can’t sleep through me getting up regardless of how quiet I tried to be. I spent some time on the treadmill and had flashes back a few years to falling off one….the rocking of the boat makes running a little treacherous, so I had to hold on to the rails the whole time….but I didn’t fall!
We had a nice breakfast, which we had ordered from room service and then headed to a lounge to relax and read. While we were in the lounge we notice a gentleman and his son sitting and talking to our right. After a while, Stacey said she thought she heard them talking about Utah and said the word “ward”, so we thought they were probably members of the Church and we had been thinking about finding someone to go to church with us in Juneau.
Stacey was super brave and went to ask them and sure enough they were from Salt Lake City. It was a little family cruising together, the mom and the dad, a married son and his wife, and another son who was attending school at the University of Washington. We talked for a while and they were super nice.
We attended the formal dinner that night. We had requested to sit at a table of 8 and when we arrived we met a couple of our tablemates. They were two Indian sisters, one was a doctor who lived in LA and the other was a math professor who lived in India. They were so cute and even though it was a little hard to understand them with their accents, it was really fun to talk to them. We also had a crewmember join us that night. She was the acupuncturist aboard and that led to some interesting conversations as well. She bought a bottle of wine for the whole table (all 5 of us), and I felt a little bad telling her we didn’t drink but appreciated the gesture.
After dinner we met up with our SL friends. The parents had gone to bed, but the rest of us played some Dice and Canasta. I lost big time both games…which of course made it all a little less enjoyable.
We had a nice breakfast, which we had ordered from room service and then headed to a lounge to relax and read. While we were in the lounge we notice a gentleman and his son sitting and talking to our right. After a while, Stacey said she thought she heard them talking about Utah and said the word “ward”, so we thought they were probably members of the Church and we had been thinking about finding someone to go to church with us in Juneau.
Stacey was super brave and went to ask them and sure enough they were from Salt Lake City. It was a little family cruising together, the mom and the dad, a married son and his wife, and another son who was attending school at the University of Washington. We talked for a while and they were super nice.
We attended the formal dinner that night. We had requested to sit at a table of 8 and when we arrived we met a couple of our tablemates. They were two Indian sisters, one was a doctor who lived in LA and the other was a math professor who lived in India. They were so cute and even though it was a little hard to understand them with their accents, it was really fun to talk to them. We also had a crewmember join us that night. She was the acupuncturist aboard and that led to some interesting conversations as well. She bought a bottle of wine for the whole table (all 5 of us), and I felt a little bad telling her we didn’t drink but appreciated the gesture.
After dinner we met up with our SL friends. The parents had gone to bed, but the rest of us played some Dice and Canasta. I lost big time both games…which of course made it all a little less enjoyable.
Day 3 – Juneau (& my birthday)
I got up Sunday and quietly, though not quietly enough…still woke Stacey up…darn it all…headed to one of the lounges and did Sunday appropriate studying while watching for whales. I saw the tail of a whale from pretty far off, but it was neat….and almost as much fun as saying “I saw the tail of a whale” which is REALLy fun...try it!!
When I returned to the room, Stacey had some presents for me. She and Melissa and Jenni and Tracy had all sent birthday gifts for me and Stacey gave me one or two each day. They are so sweet. They gave me a bunch of jewelry to help me in my attempts to accessorize a little more.
Up to this point we had had some pretty rough water. Stacey and I both loved the rocking and drunken walking…the way you trudge up the stairs and then float up them as the boat sinks and rises with the swells. However, a good portion of the passengers weren’t enjoying the trip quite as much…patches behind ears could be seen everywhere. Anyway, the captain rerouted the boat during the night and we found we would be arriving in Juneau an hour or more late.
This change in itinerary made it impossible to attend the ward in Juneau at 1:00 we had hoped to catch. So, we had a little Relief Society and Sunday School in our cabin. Stacey was in charge of Relief Society, so it was a lot better than Sunday School. We had a little good news minute and we were both excited to announce that we were on vacation cruising Alaska…it was my birthday…and we were surrounded by good food. Then Stacey gave a lesson she had presented in her ward a few weeks ago on light, how to recognize it and feel it’s influence in our lives. I gave a for Sunday School on a little quote I had heard from President Monson. Good times…until I got a small migraine which I was mostly able to ignore most of the day.
We finally docked at 2:00 and got off the boat a little before 3:00. Because it was my birthday, Stacey was a saint and let us take a special tour bus instead of public transportation which was a lot cheaper. But we jumped on the bus and headed to the Mendenhall Glacier. Our bus driver had the most unique cadence to the tour information he gave while we made the 20 minute drive.
At the Glacier we took a 3.5 mile hike up above the hillside. It was so pretty. Here are some pictures. There was so much greenery and lots of little waterfalls. It was just fantastic!
Toward the end of the hike there were just a whole bunch of stairs and we were very glad we were hiking down them, instead of up them. There was also the cutest couple hiking behind us. We would smile and say hi each time we’d pass while going to an outlook. At one point I told them we were so glad they were behind us in case some bears snuck up behind us. They responded that they were glad we were in front of them for the same reason. So we are going along, up the switchbacks and I hear this total bear growl…..ya, it was our hiking friend trying to scare us and for a second he really did. I think he felt bad afterward.
After a nap we went to dinner. No one else at our table showed up, but Stacey, being a great friend and ignoring my sincere desire to not have the waiters sing to me….totally told our waiter (Sunny…best guy in the dining room!) it was my birthday. So, sure enough, after our meal all the waiters came and sang to me with a chocolate mousse cake and a little candle. They not only gave us a cake, but a dessert sampler also, which began a little tradition where Sonny would bring us an extra dessert pretty much every night. Unfortunately, it was usually coffee flavored…so we would just pick around it and make it look like we ate it.
After a nap we went to dinner. No one else at our table showed up, but Stacey, being a great friend and ignoring my sincere desire to not have the waiters sing to me….totally told our waiter (Sunny…best guy in the dining room!) it was my birthday. So, sure enough, after our meal all the waiters came and sang to me with a chocolate mousse cake and a little candle. They not only gave us a cake, but a dessert sampler also, which began a little tradition where Sonny would bring us an extra dessert pretty much every night. Unfortunately, it was usually coffee flavored…so we would just pick around it and make it look like we ate it.
Day 4 – Glacier Bay
So, I slept in my exercise clothes and tiptoed to the bathroom and then out to the gym…all for no reason because I STILL woke poor Stacey up. When I got to the gym no one was there! I was all alone with the wide ocean, a treadmill, and a good book on CD (Countess Below Stairs…very good!!).
For breakfast we decided to try the dining room and we were seated next to a lovely couple from Oregon. We ran into them several times over the next few days. I think that was the best part of the cruise, the time we spent getting to know other people. It was really fun!
Glacier bay was fun but super cold. Actually, I’m not really sure how cold it was because we never actually went out on the deck like we were advised to do. It just looked to cold and the people who returned from the decks looked frozen solid. So, we stayed in the forward deck and saw the glaciers and their calving. It was pretty neat to watch. My favorite part though were the waiters roaming the lounge offering “Pea Soup!?” and all I could think of was that little cockroach in “The Rescuers” calling out “Pea soup!” Anyway, it made me laugh.
We took a quick lunch between glaciers and had dinner at the buffet. We ate by the cutest old couple. This was their 18th cruise! They had almost been married 60 years and met on a blind date. They told us to totally give blind dates a chance, because you never know…. They told us how to get much better deals on cruises…though the guy said that whatever they saved on their booking fees he made up for in losses in the casino…and every time we passed the poker tables…there he was ☺.
After we left Glacier Bay we found our friends from Salt Lake City. Pete and Robin, the parents, said they had played pinochle years ago, so Stacey and I convinced them to play a game with us. Again I lost, but it was still fun.
At dinner we were joined by a new lady, she had been really seasick over the past few days, but was finally feeling well enough to join us. She was crazy! Honest, very nice…but very chatty and a bit of an exaggerator. It was her birthday that night, so we got more chocolate mousse cake.
That night we went to the crew show. The crew consists of people from Indonesia. We loved the crew! They were so nice and would greet us with a “Hello, Miss Stacey! Hello, Miss Carla!” and they were just fantastic and friendly all the time! Even though they work 11 hours a day for weeks on end and months away from their families. Anyway, they did a show that night with some songs and dances from Indonesia. Our dinner waiter, Sunny, was the MC and he was so funny! He has been working on Holland America ships for 15 years!
For breakfast we decided to try the dining room and we were seated next to a lovely couple from Oregon. We ran into them several times over the next few days. I think that was the best part of the cruise, the time we spent getting to know other people. It was really fun!
Glacier bay was fun but super cold. Actually, I’m not really sure how cold it was because we never actually went out on the deck like we were advised to do. It just looked to cold and the people who returned from the decks looked frozen solid. So, we stayed in the forward deck and saw the glaciers and their calving. It was pretty neat to watch. My favorite part though were the waiters roaming the lounge offering “Pea Soup!?” and all I could think of was that little cockroach in “The Rescuers” calling out “Pea soup!” Anyway, it made me laugh.
We took a quick lunch between glaciers and had dinner at the buffet. We ate by the cutest old couple. This was their 18th cruise! They had almost been married 60 years and met on a blind date. They told us to totally give blind dates a chance, because you never know…. They told us how to get much better deals on cruises…though the guy said that whatever they saved on their booking fees he made up for in losses in the casino…and every time we passed the poker tables…there he was ☺.
After we left Glacier Bay we found our friends from Salt Lake City. Pete and Robin, the parents, said they had played pinochle years ago, so Stacey and I convinced them to play a game with us. Again I lost, but it was still fun.
At dinner we were joined by a new lady, she had been really seasick over the past few days, but was finally feeling well enough to join us. She was crazy! Honest, very nice…but very chatty and a bit of an exaggerator. It was her birthday that night, so we got more chocolate mousse cake.That night we went to the crew show. The crew consists of people from Indonesia. We loved the crew! They were so nice and would greet us with a “Hello, Miss Stacey! Hello, Miss Carla!” and they were just fantastic and friendly all the time! Even though they work 11 hours a day for weeks on end and months away from their families. Anyway, they did a show that night with some songs and dances from Indonesia. Our dinner waiter, Sunny, was the MC and he was so funny! He has been working on Holland America ships for 15 years!
Day 5 – Sitka
So I guess I should admit that after most of our breakfasts in the dining room….we might have headed to the buffet for a second breakfast (yes, we temporarily became hobbits…but sometimes we needed a little more of something in the morning).
This was our day in Sitka. Here we walked to a beautiful hike up into the hills behind the town. The ground was so wet that almost the whole trail was a wooden boardwalk and stairs.
I hadn’t really anticipated a serious hike….so I was sweating like a…well…like a Zollinger the whole time but it was just so great. They warned us, again, of bears, so we felt a little bit of pressure to keep talking the whole time. We ran out of actual things to say to each other about 10 minutes in…but we kept chatting and it must have worked because we didn’t see any bears at all. Though we did run into a purple haired hiker and several locals….which was when I realized why I cannot live in Alaska…everyone ownes a DOG!! Honest!!
We took a nap that afternoon and I did some laundry since by this time I had sweat soaked both pairs of jeans I had brought….needed some clean clothes in a desperate way. I also discovered that I HATE Laundromats…so not fun!
This was our day in Sitka. Here we walked to a beautiful hike up into the hills behind the town. The ground was so wet that almost the whole trail was a wooden boardwalk and stairs.
I hadn’t really anticipated a serious hike….so I was sweating like a…well…like a Zollinger the whole time but it was just so great. They warned us, again, of bears, so we felt a little bit of pressure to keep talking the whole time. We ran out of actual things to say to each other about 10 minutes in…but we kept chatting and it must have worked because we didn’t see any bears at all. Though we did run into a purple haired hiker and several locals….which was when I realized why I cannot live in Alaska…everyone ownes a DOG!! Honest!!
We took a nap that afternoon and I did some laundry since by this time I had sweat soaked both pairs of jeans I had brought….needed some clean clothes in a desperate way. I also discovered that I HATE Laundromats…so not fun!
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