So….have I ever mentioned how much I hate New Years? I really hate it. I don’t think I can remember a New Years were I didn’t get insanely depressed. And here are my reasons for thinking this is the worst holiday/day of the year.
First of all…New Years Eve is always a big let down…maybe it’s the missing kiss…or maybe it’s the fact that we never get drunk….the drunk people in movies always seem to be having such a great time with their hats and noisemakers bottles of champagne….or maybe it’s just the missing kiss….
And then it’s just that the whole holiday requires a certain amount of retrospection and that always leaves me feeling incredibly overwhelmed. My life just never looks so far from what I anticipated as it does on New Years. Not that it isn’t great….I’m just not where I thought I’d be and then I start thinking about what I could have done differently….and I just get tired trying to find a single decision I would have changed…and I can never identify one….except maybe waiting so long to grow out my bangs….and maybe some of the things I wore in the ‘80’s…and maybe the ‘90’s, too….
And finally, I also feel a need, though I fight it desperately, to make some goals and resolutions…but even as I make them….I know I will keep on doing what I have been doing….I am such a creature of habit that I seldom make some of the good changes in my life that I should….I should be a better friend and sister, co-worker and ward member…there is so much I should do that I get tired, some more, just thinking about all the goals I should make….
Anyway, now that I’ve totally depressed anyone who reads this…Happy New Year!! Tomorrow I will go to work and the new year will have started and this annual dip in my spirits will be in the past. It’s going to be a great year….it always is.