Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Queen of Excuses

I am extremely gifted in the art of justifying pretty much anything. Usually, I try to only use my powers for good, but sometimes….I just can’t stop myself from allowing my talent to get me out of things I really don’t want to do (maybe because I’m lazy and like to avoid doing things that make me the least bit uncomfortable).

I have decided not to compete in the spring triathlon in May that I registered for (and stupidly told the world I was going to participate in). But, I have 10 really good reasons why I shouldn’t do it….they are:

  1. Family is the most important thing. (You see, I can spend an extra day at home the weekend after Stephanie gets back from Australia, if I work the day of the triathlon…who can put a value on an extra day with the family?)
  2. Being a good leader requires setting a good example. (I have a staff meeting that day. Staff meetings are very important and in my attempt to be a good leader, I need to be a good example….like showing up for staff meetings.)
  3. I only have 2 hips and one lower back and I need them all. (My hip has been hurting and my back also, seriously!! I can barely walk after a good hard run and I need to walk!).
  4. Proper training is vital. (May is really early for a triathlon…especially considering that the weather just barely got good enough to allow a person to train outside..on an actual bike (mine currently has 2 flat tires…which poses another problem.).)
  5. Proper equipment is needed. (I have a mountain bike instead of a road bike…it’s so heavy and everyone else will have slick fast road bikes and I’ll just feel bad about myself and get all depressed and then slip into a permanent funk and never really recover.)
  6. Proper training is vital…again. (I haven’t been doing my swimming training….the pool is super gross and going swimming regularly is exhausting….it’s just a lot of work to get to the pool and get cleaned up later and then you and your hair smell like chlorine for days.) 
  7. Sweat is unattractive. (As related in a previous post, I sweat a lot and my face gets super red when I exert myself to the extent that a triathlon would require. What if my future husband sees me there and is immediately turned off (and any normal person would have to be….when I say I sweat a lot…I mean I sweat like a pig in the Sahara!!) and then I never get married.)
  8. Manners are important…and you should never ask a lady her age. (They always write your age on the back of your calf and I’m not sure I can handle that…especially if spectators have created an age guessing game (Jenni!)…what if they think I’m in my 40’s or something).
  9. There is another opportunity this summer. (I have the opportunity to be in a less formal triathlon in August….I can still make my goal….just a little later.)
  10. Mother Nature is unpredictable and should be respected. (What if it rains?? That could be dangerous and I’m really not prepared to deal with that if it happens ☺.)


Mary Ann said...

You are completely justified! :)

scott said...

Carla you can't use the same reason twice, silly girl. You only have 9, but in my opinion one reason would be enought, that being I don't want to do it!!

Michaelynn said...

Carla! You are hilarious! I haven't laughed so hard in days! When I read the title to #10 I thought you were going to put something in there about your menstral cycle and I was preparing myself.

I love you for making these goals and I love you more for your excuses.

Jeff said...

Those are all valid excuses. You don't have to go. I have decreed it.

Dave and Mel said...

Works for me. But you really should have used...."I don't want to anymore" as one of the excuses.

David and Shayla said...

You are absolutely right...of course.